Sorry to break it to you guys…Fantasy Football is pure luck. For me, I’ve been the most unlucky GM this season, and we’re only five weeks in.
When Steve ‘Sparky’ Fifer made an ultimatum on the air at the end of the August, I knew I was destined to fail. Sparky made two things clear:
1. You, Joe Zenzola, need to have a better record and higher point total than Leigh McNabb from KISS FM in the Tony Kamps league, or you will be kicked out of the WSSP League next season.
2. Whoever finishes dead last in the WSSP League this season, they will be relegated to the Kamps League for next year.
So far…I’m failing in both.
In the WSSP League, I’m 1-4. I notched my first victory on Monday by defeating Leroy Butler and Ryan Road’s team (special thanks to 18 points from Justin Tucker and 22 points from the Niners D). Outside of that, most of my players have been an utter disappointment.
In the Tony Kamps Minor League, which I regret joining to this very day, I’m 1-4 as well. My team is stacked in that league, and yet, there’s not enough production. I continue to get lackluster performances from Doug Martin and Darren Sproles. I consider both to be overrated now.
Before I get to the worse possible news, let me document how awful this season has been starting from Week 1. I will also share you my current rosters for both teams.
Kamps League: vs. Leigh McNabb
· Peyton Manning has the game of his career. He gets Leigh 64.3 points.
· Jared Cook blows up for 31.1 points against me (hasn’t done anything since).
· Also, solid games from DeMarco Murray, Vernon Davis, and Julio Jones. They all play well against my squad.
· I put up 175 points against Leigh, and I still lose to her.
· Final Score:Me 175.5, Leigh 208.6
· Leigh McNabb is 5-0 in the Kamps League.
WSSP League: vs. Josh Vernier
· Yes, he had Peyton Manning, too.
· He also had Adrian Peterson. AP pulled in 29.1 points in Week 1
· Those two alone were more than enough to beat me Week 1.
· Final Score: Me 98.86, Vernier 134.08
· Josh Vernier is 5-0 in the WSSP League – he’s unstoppable.
Kamps League: vs. Brian Sorgi
· Arian Foster, Tavon Austin, and Jordan Cameron all blow up late in the game to give Sorgi’s team a big advantage.
· I have solid performances from RG3 and Jordy Nelson.
· Martellus Bennett blows up, but I fail to start him.
· Going into Monday night, I was still leading. Sorgi needs 10.1 points to beat me.
· A.J. Green for Sorgi puts up 10.1.
· Final Score: Me 122.5, Sorgi 122.6.
WSSP League: vs. Chuck, Wickett, and Zach
· Michael Vick blows up, throws for over 400 yards. Are you kidding me?! He practically carried their team that week.
· Matt Ryan and Julio Jones continue to be my top playmakers. Roddy White, however, has been a bust.
· Again, I have a slight lead over the morning show going into Monday Night Football.
· They have the Bengals D – Big Ben throws an INT late in the game. That gives the morning show the lead.
· I lose again. Final Score: Me 85.66, CWZ 87.22
I could easily be 1-1 in both leagues; instead, I’m 0-2, and I’m getting paranoid.
I make a trade with Sparky in the WSSP League.
I get Trent Richardson and Vincent Jackson, in exchange for Matt Ryan and Roddy White. Hopefully, that will help, right? Nope.
Kamps League: vs. Tony Kamps
· Adrian Peterson and Matt Stafford combine for 47 point for T-Kamps’ team.
· I get a lot of consistency this week from my guys, except for these people.
o Phil Dawson – 1 point
o Texans D – 4 points
o Tony Gonzalez – 6.4 points
o Martellus Bennett (who had such an great game last week) – 3 points
· Final Score: Me 99.5, Kamps 126.7
WSSP League: vs. Howie Magner
· Howie gets blow up performances from DeMarco Murray (26.3 points) and Antonio Freaking Brown (31.6 points).
· Trent Richardson plays decent for me – 9.5 points.
· V-Jax sucks Week 3 – 3.4 points
· Eli Manning takes Matt Ryan’s place at QB. Eli, despite throwing a lot of INTs the first two weeks, was still averaging 23 points per game.
o Eli gets me 5.16 points vs. Howie…Thanks, Eli.
· Final Score: Me 64.26, Howie 123.70
Kamps League: vs. Zach Klupchak
· Finally, I have some players that blow up for me.
o Tony Gonzalez – 38.9 points
o Darren Sproles – 31.2 points
o Demaryius Thomas – 29.6 points
· It was a neck and neck finish, but I got even with Zach, after he beat me in the WSSP League back in Week 2.
· Final Score: Me 167.8, Zach 165.6
· I’m 1-3 Yay!
WSSP League: vs. Matt Regashus
· Colin Kaepernick, who I cannot stand, puts up 13.78 points. Before that, he struggled the previous two weeks.
· Ragu also had Vernon Davis (7.8 points) and Anquan Boldin (15 points), and Phil Dawson (5 points).
· All of this production came on Thursday Night Football, so going into Sunday, I still had a great chance of beating Matt.
· Greg Jennings, who hasn’t done a damn thing all season, picks Week 4 to blow up against me. He rakes in 21.2 points. Demaryius Thomas also picks up 20 points for Matt.
· On the flipside, I had a bunch of busts.
o V-Jax – 2.7 points
o Eli Manning – 8.88 points
o Owen Daniels (who was suppose to be this big TD machine) – 7.2 points
o And Ray Freaking Rice…My first round selection has flat out sucked this year. He gets me 1.7 points in Week 4.
· I lose hands down. Final Score: Me 76.68, Ragu 112.78
Now, I’m 0-4 in the WSSP League, 1-3 in the Kamps League. It was time to make more trades…
With Terrelle Pryor on my bench, it was time to remove Eli Manning. I wanted to compliment Pryor with his number one WR – Denarius Moore.
I traded the struggling and unhealthy Vincent Jackson to Matt Barlow’s team for Denarius Moore.
Then, with all of my anger set on Ray Rice, I ship him to Matt Regashus for Anquan Boldin.
That second trade would prove to be a big mistake.
Furthermore, I had two offers on the table from Howie Magner. He wanted Julio Jones from me.
He offered DeMarco Murray and Marlon Brown, or Knowshon Moreno and Steve Smith.
I turned down both deals. I would soon regret that decision as well…
Kamps League: vs. Samantha Winkler and Andy Borgealt
· They have the Seahawks D and Justin Tucker. Those two alone combine for 29 points.
· Great production from Vincent Brown (19.7 points) and Antonio Gates (14.4 points). Those two killed me as well.
· On my side of things, RG3, Alfred Morris, and Doug Martin all had byes.
· I benched the Texans D last week – They pulled in 13 points. This week I start them, and they get me 3 points.
· I also started Alex Smith at QB…He got me 8.8 points.
· Peyton Manning has another freakish game against Dallas, and Demaryius Thomas sees no piece of the action. He gets me only 10.7 points.
· I fall to 1-4. Final Score: Me 114.5 Team WB 136.8
WSSP League: vs. Leroy and Ryan
· As I mentioned earlier, the Niners D and Justin Tucker were crucial to my first victory.
· However, Ray Rice, who I dealt to Regashus, blows up. He rushes for 74 yards, along with 2 TDs. I’M FURIOUS! Anquan Boldin, on the other hand, rakes in 2.1 points….I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS!
· Final Score: Me 94.64 Leroy and Ryan 87.18
And now for the biggest news…
TE OWEN DANILES OUT 4-6 WEEKS. BIG LOSS FOR ME IN THE WSSP LEAGUE.
AND THEN, THIS NEWS…
JULIO JONES, MY BEST WR IN THE WSSP LEAGUE, IS OUT FOR THE SEASON.
I’m ready to lose my mind. This is the type of season that I’ve been dealing with. At times, I just want to pull my hair out. For everything that’s transpired the last five weeks, how can it get any worse? I’m due for some good luck, right?
Perhaps I’m snake-bitten.
Yes, I should blame my fantasy football season on the Brewers…or not.
Whatever, it’s just a game, I guess.
Nonetheless, I deserve a second chance to stay in the WSSP League. I expect to get some sympathy from my opponents. Seriously, are there are people like me out there with the same bad luck?
Here are my two rosters as of today:
Kamps League, 10-team PPR: This is a great team, right? How can I be 1-4?
RB: Doug Martin
RB: Alfred Morris
WR: Demaryius Thomas
WR: Jordy Nelson
WR: Danny Amendola
TE: Tony Gonzalez
Flex: RB Darren Sproles
Kicker: Nick Novak
· RB Fred Jackson
· RB Ben Tate
· WR Mike Williams
· WR Donnie Avery
· TE Jared Cook
· TE Martellus Bennett
· QB Alex Smith
WSSP League: 14-team Standard:
QB: Terrelle Pryor
RB: DeAngelo Williams
RB: Trent Richardson
WR: Anquan Boldin
WR: Denarius Moore
Flex: WR Mike Williams
Kicker: Justin Tucker
· WR Julian Edelman
· QB Eli Manning
· RB Kendall Hunter
· RB Roy Helu Jr.
· TE Jermaine Gresham
Injured: WR Julio Jones, TE Owen Daniels…
In both leagues, I'm 1-4. That's 2-8 overall. I still believe I can get on hot streak in the Kamps League. Am I running out of time, though?
I expect to go 1-12 in the WSSP League…not good. At least I won a game!